Hey all. It’s coming close to nearly a year since my last (and only other) blog post. I’ve started and abandoned many potential blog posts in that time, but I won’t get into that. I decided to just do an easy life-update style post for now. It feels like so much has changed since I last wrote anything on this website.
I’m struggling to decide how personal I should be on this site, especially now that I’ve shared it with some people irl. I think I’ll probably try to forget that fact, and just write whatever comes to me naturally.
Anyways, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve changed a lot as a person in the last half year or so. I got a part-time job as a server this past April, and that’s really what started it. As someone who had been a bit of a social recluse, getting a job that forces me into low-stakes interactions with strangers has helped me over time to break out of my shell and get used to talking with people. I’m still not great at it, but I’m way better than I was, trust me. I’m also more willing to push myself to socialize in other scenarios. My coworkers are great too and I see a lot of them as friends now. As comfortable as I was being basically a shut-in, having a social life has been much more rewarding for me. I still worry too much, but now main anxieties are more related to my awkwardness and how I hold myself, and less about being fundamentally lonely, which is good I guess. Anyways, I know those worries past and present are probably unwarrented. I've met lots of kind and accepting people recently who welcome me in spite of my quirks, and I'm thankful for that. Also I wouldn't be in this better place without a certain long-time friend, shouts out to them you know who you are!
Something that’s been gnawing at me is the fact that it has been so long since I’ve really created anything, or worked on any long term projects. Mostly, I haven’t animated anything in forever. I’ve sort of been living each day as it comes, focused on the present and not really thinking about any long-term goals. I’ve been seeing lots of live music in my city these past few months. Meeting so many creative and driven people pursuing different things has made me question what I actually want out of life, and what I actually enjoy doing. I do think I still like stop motion animation though, I’ve just been kind of demotivated and a little busier than I used to be. I wanna keep animating though, and I'll animate something soon I swear! for real this time!
While I haven't made anything big and grand, I have been trying to stay creative in other ways that fit my current "living fast" lifestyle. Mostly doing film photography at shows and at the park and wherever else. I've been practicing my instruments (mostly guitar) a lot too, and have recorded some simple instrumentals of mixed quality which I've shared here. I've also been SHOPPING a lot because I have no self control. My audio setup is more robust now, and I hope to make a blog entry about that soon.
Anyways, thank you for reading if you did. I know it was kind of meandering. I have an essay due in less than 2 days and I'm writing this instead!!!